Conflict Resolution
Our text defines
conflict as being “a negative interaction between two or more interdependent
people, rooted in some actual or perceived disagreement” (O’Hair, Wiemann,
Mullin, & Teven, 2015, p. 214). I typically
avoid conflict. I am not sure if it
based on my personality of being a people-pleaser or the fact that having someone
upset or disappointed distresses me. At
work, our department has discussions on varying topics; however, I can identify
a time that a conflict or problem surfaced between myself and a colleague or
supervisor that caused a rift or tension.
We act professionally and tend assess conflict, situations, and problems
and problem-solve as a team. At home, my
husband and I do not typically fight or argue.
In the course of 26
years of marriage, if a conflict emerges, I have learned to give my husband
time to process his thoughts, feelings, and emotions before
attempting to initiate a conflict resolution process. Time and space provide my husband the
opportunity for tension reduction before re-establishing communication, or
therapeutic rapport (CPI, 2018, p. 33). When associating the
3 R’s : Respect, Response, and Relationship (Cheshire, 2007) with a conflict with my husband, they can be broken down as this: I respectfully treat my
husband as a grown adult and loved one by honoring his time to process; I watch
his body language, and when he is ready, we will discuss the problem and
explore solutions; and throughout it all, we maintain our relationship as
husband and wife and as friends.
This past week, I had
a meeting with an elementary principal and special education director. They were requesting assistance and guidance
in developing a new self-contained early childhood classroom to serve any child
between the ages of 3 – 5 years. The
principal was feeling overwhelmed with number of young children that were
recently assessed and identified as qualifying for special education
services. Because of the increased
number of behavior challenges and office referrals, this year’s school year was
intimidating and overwhelming for the new principal. The principal was proposing to place any
student that qualified for special education services in a self-contained
special education classroom.
When reminded that least restrictive environment (LRE) is part of the Individuals
with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA), the principal became agitated and verbally defensive. I allowed her to verbally vent and release
her frustrations about having a high number of children with behavioral issues
and special education identifications.
She believed that the children would be best served in a self-contained
classroom with a special education teacher.
The population she was referencing included students that had been
identified as having speech and language deficiencies and disorders.
According to Section
300.114 LRE requirements, “To the maximum extent appropriate, children with
disabilities, including children in public or private institutions or other
care facilities, are educated with children who are non-disabled; and special
classes, separate schooling, or other removal of children with disabilities
from the regular educational environment occurs only if the nature or severity
of the disability is such that education in regular classes with the use of
supplementary aids and services cannot be achieved satisfactorily” (IDEA, n.d.).
The principal needed
change and I wanted to advocate for the students with disabilities. So, as I empathetically listened to the
principal, I mentally processed the steps towards conflict resolution. I have a printed conflict resolution mini
poster that I received many years ago in my binder. The mini poster is similar to the conflict
poster located on the Conflict Resolution Network web page. I documented the principal’s and director’s needs
and anxieties while empathetically listening, asking probing questions, maintaining
eye contact, and nodding my head to acknowledge that I was listening and
hearing their concerns. We explored the opportunities for positive and negative
outcomes for the development of a self-contained classroom.
I tend to think outside
the box when problem solving. As I was
assessing the situation, the needs, and desires of all involved – the school,
principal, special education director, and children, I retrieved the Preschool
Least Restrictive Environment document.
This document was designed by the Texas Education Agency and the Progress
in General Curriculum State Network. I
proposed developing an inclusive early childhood classroom to serve children ages
three and four. The document states that
3- and 4-year-old students that are prekindergarten eligible and/or PPCD
(preschool program for children with disabilities) eligible can be served in
one classroom by a teacher who is dually certified as a general educator and
special educator (TEA & ESC 20, 2014, p. 5). The school district must maintain a ration of
less than 50% of children with special needs to meet the definition of a least
restrictive environment (LRE) (TEA & ESC 20, 2014, p. 5). This may not be a new concept for most; it is
for this district.
Being able to maintain
the 3 R’s of respect, response, and relationship and follow the steps of
conflict resolution, a solution was identified.
The principal and special education director are planning to meet with
the school district’s superintendent to propose the development of an inclusive
prekindergarten classroom to meet the needs of all students.
Resources:
Cheshire, N. (2007). The 3 R’s: Gateway to Infant
and Toddler Learning. Dimensions of Early Childhood, 35(3), 36–38. Retrieved
June 5, 2019 from https://search-ebscohost-com.ezp.waldenulibrary.org/login.aspx?direct=true&db=eue&AN=27972629&site=eds-live&scope=site.
Crisis Prevention Institute (CPI). (2018). Nonviolent
Crisis Intervention® Foundation Course: Instructor guide. Milwaukee, WI: Crisis Prevention Institute.
IDEA. (n.d.) Sec. 300.114 LRE requirements. Retrieved
June 8, 2019 from https://sites.ed.gov/idea/regs/b/b/300.114.
O’Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D.I., &
Teven, J. (2015). Real Communication. Boston, MA: Bedford/St. Martin’s.
Texas Education Agency (TEA) & Education Service
Center 20 (ESC 20). (2014). PLRE:
Preschool Least Restrictive Environments/Settings Document. Retrieved June 8, 2019 from https://www.esc20.net/upload/page/0447/docs/2014PLRE.pdf
Hello Donna,
ReplyDeleteI asked my colleagues in my blog post for advice with on how to handle a conflict with a close family member. Thank you for sharing how you handled any conflicts with your spouse. I too believe that time and space will allow for tension reduction. Also, I like that you explained how you implement the 3 R's method of communication. I will keep this in mind for whenever I find myself in any conflict especially with a close family member.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDonna,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing about how you handle your spouse conflict. I will keep in mind the body language. It is a great way to avoid to scale a conflict. You are very wise to practice your 3R's in your marriage. I am sure it makes a lot more peaceful environment.
Hello Donna,
ReplyDeleteYour experience involving conflict was a very interesting example. First I am totally shocked that an administrator would behave in such a self absorbed manner especially when they are suppose to be leaders even if they are new. I think that you had the situation very while referencing the 3 R's. I think your response in handling the principal the Preschool Least Restrictive Environment document helped show the administrator that your were presenting unbiased information during your communication. The was a good step to take when trying to ease conflict in a respectful manner.
Donna,
ReplyDeleteThat is amazing that you and your husband are capable of communicating effectively and you are able to provide him with the space and time he needs to process his feelings. Does he also give you your time and space you might need to process your feelings? How long did it take you to learn to give him what he needs? I feel some people have not learned this concept whether they are married or not. I think this concept is useful in any type of relationship one may have with another person.
Thank you, too, for sharing your insight on the 3 R's and how useful it was for you and your colleagues.
Donna,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your experiences.
I think when you study someone or have been with someone for so long you develop an understanding of what they need. For example you understand that your husband requires space and processing time. What do you do though when it comes to someone you havent even spent 26 days with?
Donna,
ReplyDeleteI am totally moved by your long-term commitment to your spouse and the effective ways that you communicate. I often think of how will I get through another day or even next moment without losing my cool or walking on eggshells. You have provided some brilliant approaches to avoiding and managing conflict. Thanks for the pointers, I will work harder to be a better wife and friend.
Schneeka