The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

Over the past couple weeks, we have shared our experiences with bias, microaggressions, prejudice both personally and professionally.  Yesterday, I mentioned to my husband that I was challenged with sharing another personal story of experiencing microaggressions, prejudice, and bias.  I have already shared about my brother and his husband, my students with special needs, my mother’s medical disabilities, and my experience with sexism as a military police officer and first responder.  My husband then disclosed an experience he had this past week with me.  And I would like to share it with you.

On page 31 in the Anti-Bias Education for Young Children and Ourselves is the “My Social Identities Portrait” chart (Derman-Sparks & Edwards, 2010).  The first column lists the social identities for the groups defined as the norm who are the recipients of social advantages.  The norm is tall white, European American, English-speaking Christian heterosexual men between the ages of 20-60 years. These men are typically highly literate with a college degree and married with 1-3 biological children.  This describes my husband perfectly.  He is 6’4”, white, Christian, speaks English, has a bachelor’s degree and loves to read.  We have been married for over 26 years and have two biological sons.  And, as of today, he is 48 years old.  He can pretty much check off every box on that chart on page 31.

He has been a police officer for more than 24 years; the last five years, he has been serving as an investigator/detective in the major crimes – crimes against people unit. The other day, he knocked on the door looking for a suspect in a case.  When the suspect’s mother opened the door, he introduced himself as Detective Holt with the police department and could he please speak with the person of interest.  The mother immediately informed him that her daughter no longer lived at that residence.  After a few minutes of conversation, the mother shared that her daughter was actually in the family room watching television.  Out of curiosity, he asked her why she initially said that her daughter no longer lived with her.  She said, “I don’t trust white people knocking on my door.”  When she went to retrieve her daughter, her husband just shook his head and “my people, my people.”  

My husband’s experience is an example of prejudice and discrimination.  Prejudice is “an attitude, opinion, or feeling formed without adequate prior knowledge, thought, or reason” (Derman-Sparks & Edwards, 2010).  The mother in this story had prejudged my husband based on his skin color.  Not only have I had the experience of witnessing my husband on duty, but I have spoken with people that has encountered him on traffic stops.  In fact, when I discovered that he had stopped my predecessor for speeding and expired registration, I apologized to her.  She quickly informed me that she deserved the ticket for speeding and that my husband was very polite and respectful throughout the traffic stop.  She said that most police officers are not as polite and helpful, especially when you are in the wrong.  My husband has typically been described as polite, thoughtful, and respectful for all on and off duty.  What he encountered this week, was not the first time for him. It may not be the last.

My husband, along with other police officers, have a tough job as the protect and serve.  And in some ways law enforcement is similar to education.  Some days are rewarding, constructive, and worthwhile, while other days can very mentally, emotionally, and physically stressful and draining.  

Sadly, prejudice and discrimination based on skin color, sex, age, religion, ability, and individual differences occurs everyday across our nation.  We cannot make people change but we can lead by example.  One way to lead by example is by developing safe, inclusive school families within the early education programs and classroom where we work.

References:

Derman-Sparks, L. & Edwards, J.O. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves.  Washington, DC: National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC).