Relationship Reflection

Relationship Reflection

Relationships are important to me for several reasons.  They provide connections with others – intimate, business, family, and friendships.  Some relationships are short-term; however, it is the ones that have lasted over time that are the most meaningful to me.

Keith and Cheryl are my older brother and sister.  We did not grow up in a close-knit family; however, as we have aged, our sibling relationships have grown stronger and closer.  We do not live near each other, but we do try to check in frequently and get together every now and then.  My sister, Cheryl, and I have grown closer as we cared for our aging parents.  Unfortunately, we lost our mother in January 2011 after a 34-year battle with Guillain-Barre syndrome, and lost our dad this past January after a 7-year battle with Frontotemporal dementia.  With the lost of our parents and our children becoming adults, family get togethers are changing and becoming fewer.  We are family and will always be family no matter what.

Jim and I have been married for over 25 years.  We have been through tough times together.  No matter what he has always been by my side.  Our wedding vows included for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health.  These vows have been tested in many ways over the past 25 years, and we have struggled and overcome much.  Because of this, we have learned that maintaining a strong, healthy relationship, it takes time, patience, cooperation, communication, give and take, and empathy of both members of the relationship.

Zack and Jake are the loves of my life.  My sons challenge me to be the best I can be.  From the day they were born, a special bond was developed with each boy.  Zack was always gentle soul that knew just what to say and what to do to push me or inspire me.  He, also, knew just how to test the limits and try my patience.  Now that he is stationed overseas, our connection is strong but challenged by distance.  Jake is a freshman in high school and testing the waters.  His introverted personality challenges me at times, so when he does come out of his shell and openly converses with me, it means a lot.  Since I did not grow up in an openly loving family, I tell both Zack and Jake that I love them on a regular basis, that I am proud of who they are, and that no matter what family will always come first.

Greg has been my closest and truest friend for the past 26 years.  He was Jim’s college roommate and the best man in our wedding.  Greg and his family live about 2 hours away but have always been a part of our family.  I do not have many, close or casual, and Jim is truly my best friend, but Greg has been a life-long friend and confidant.  Because marriages have their ups and downs, it is nice to have someone to vent to every now and then.  Greg has been there for me, and I have been there for him.  This is a relationship that is strong because it is based on trust and honesty.

Beverly is a new relationship for me.  She is my immediate boss and friend.  Our relationship has taken time to develop and has its challenges.  I do not always approve of her managerial approach but as I get to know her personally I am beginning to develop a better understanding of her mannerisms.  As my director, she sometimes pushes me past my comfort zone with extra projects and responsibilities. This summer I had surgery to remove a glial tumor from my right frontal lobe, so Beverly has become like a protective big sister to me in many ways.  Because of this, a new friendship has enhanced our working relationship.  We now have office “pop-ins” where we just check in on each other to see how things are going health-wise, with the family, or just personally.  This new friendship has strengthened the mutual respect with our working relationship.

I may not have many close relationships but the ones I do give me strength and confidence on a daily basis.  Relationships are built through a connection between two individuals.  Relationships are based on family, intimate love, work or business, or friendships.  No matter what the type, all of these relationships impact my life as educator, mentor, trainer, coach, and specialist.  For the teachers that I mentor, I try to approach them as a professional coach, confidant, and friend.  Many PPCD teachers feel isolated based on their teaching situation and are needing support from someone that is knowledgeable but trustworthy.  My relationship with Jim, Zack, and Jake has taught me that strong relationships are worth the time, effort, and work involved. Like Keith and Cheryl, early childhood special education is a family that needs to develop a support system.  Like my relationship with Greg, some teachers need to have someone they can safely vent to.  Above all, my relationship with Beverly is teaching me how to find a healthy balance between building a personal friendship while maintaining a professional relationship with the teachers, administrators, and staff that I train, coach, mentor, and assist.